Friday 7 October 2011

Breast Cancer Awareness Month & My Beautiful Mum!

As most of you will already know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
The shops are full of pink and people everywhere are doing their bit by organising coffee mornings, walkathons etc etc.

Breast Cancer is something that has touched me personally and had a huge impact on my life.

Let me tell you about my mum:
As i write this i really don't know where to begin. Her name Elissa Lockhart, she was such an amazing person that words just don't cut it.
She brought me up practically single handed. We had very little money but she worked hard to provide for me and always made sure she was there to pick me from school, juggling things like mad but always with a smile on her face.

She was such a positive person who gave me so so much and was my best friend. When i fell pregnant with my first son (her first grandchild) she was so supportive. I have been through some very difficult times and she never judged me but was always there.
There for cuddles, there for laughs, there for tears happy and sad.


Unfortunately many years later mum found a lump. As always she stayed optimistic and waited patiently for the results. I remember sobbing with her when we found out it was breast cancer and she needed to be operated on.

Then they told her she needed a mastectomy and would need chemotherapy as she was going to lose her hair.
Although she cried she told me she was going nowhere and would fight this disease.

And my god she did fight. She went through all the treatment and although there were days when she couldn't even get out of bed she still smiled.
She would even joke about and change her wigs to match her outfits, she would throw her prosthesis (Fake boob) at me when i wasn't expecting it. She was Amazing a real inspiration.

We were all so relieved when she had the all clear and after that she always said make the most of life its too precious to take for granted. She was an amazing grandma and we were closer than ever. There was not a day that went  by where i didn't speak to her on the phone and we would go shopping together or she would come up and id do her nails. We'd gossip and eat cake and talk about girly things.


Years passed by and mum became unwell again. We tried not to think of the worst but when the results came back that the cancer had come back and spread to her liver and lungs we were all devastated.
I watched her deteriorate slowly, she had spells of being ok and times where she was sick for months on end. She struggled for a few more years in and out of hospital living on drugs and slowly getting weaker.
I spent the last few weeks of her life holding her hand at the hospice talking to her while she slipped further away.

I was with her when she passed away holding her hand and telling her how much i loved her and was going to miss her. I kissed her 3 times once from me and once on behalf of her two grandchildren (her pride and joy)

As i sat at her bedside i remember thinking she held me when i took my first breath and i held her when she took her last.
As i write this the tears are pouring down my cheeks, i miss her so much that as i said before words just don't cut it.

This month i plan on holding a raffle on my blog to raise money for breast cancer. I will be asking companies to donate prizes and asking you to donate directly to breast cancer campaign via a just giving account to be entered into the draw and win some goodies and all the money will go to charity.
It's not much in the big scale of things but every penny helps, i don't want any other mum's daughters, sister's or friends to go through this.

If you are a company and want to donate a prize please contact me and if you read this and it touches you then please post on twitter as the more i spread the word the more money i can raise and thank you for your support xxx

59 comments:

  1. This is such a great initiative. I'm sure your mom would be very proud to see you spreading awareness. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Nicoletta,my heart goes out to you. Your mum sounds like such an amazing person and i bet she is so proud to look down and see what a beautiful and kind hearted person you are.This is such a great way to raise money for the charity.I am behind you all the way. Big cuddles from me XX

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow this is such a beautiful touching post! My heart goes out to you losing your mum, I cant imagine its an easy thing to go through. A raffle seems like a great idea to raise money! xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your mum truly sounds like an amazing lady! I'm really sorry to hear that she has lost the battle. Hugs to you, Nicoletta!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tears are rolling down my face as I read this. Big hugs for you. Will tweet this for you now xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. An amazing, moving post Nicoletta. The first thing I'm going to do now is pick up the phone to my mum, who I know I take for granted, then I'll be off to spread the word on Twitter about your raffle.

    Ellie x x x

    ReplyDelete
  7. What an amazing woman she was. Even though she isn't physically here, she will be so proud of you right now. Lots of love and hugs xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't have to words to express how you've touched my heart with your words.

    Please tell me what I can do to help with this.

    S x

    ReplyDelete
  9. such a heart warming post about your lovely, courageous and supportive mum. Well done you!
    what sort of prizes are you looking for?
    x

    ReplyDelete
  10. Im sat at my desk at work, with tears pouring down my cheeks. I will retweet this constantly. you are very inspiring. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. your mum was an amazing person x

    ReplyDelete
  12. That was so beautifully written Nicoletta. What an amazing tribute to your Mum's memory x

    ReplyDelete
  13. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman. Lots of hugs for you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. What a beautiful and sad post Nic, your mum was a wonderful woman and she has raised you to also be wonderful, kind and of course beautiful!

    Let me know what prizes you are after, I'm happy to donate, email me on my work email add.

    Love,

    Farrah
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks so much for your overwhelming support ladies, it means a huge amount to me xxx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Such a great and inspiring post. Sorry to hear your Mum has passed. I was 9 years old when my Grandad passed away with lung cancer and I was devastated. My Dad passed away 5 years ago, but not from Cancer. It's the worst thing that has ever happened in my life so I understand how you must feel. Always here if you fancy a chat. Lots of love xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. A beautiful post, it makes me tearful reading this. I lost someone close to me this year and it's hard watching them deteriorate. Hugs, Meeta xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Whatever you need. My brands are in. Your Mum would be very proud of you. Xx

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow, I am very very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us and for reminding us of how precious life is and how we really need to focus on finding a cure! *Hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Beautiful post; will be buying my tickets asap.

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hugs Nicoletta!!!
    This is such a moving post....you must be really proud of your mom!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Awh, Nicoletta. Your Mum obviously loved you to bits and I'm sure she would be bursting with pride and overwhelmed with love if she could see the beautiful words you have written in her memory. x x Good luck with the raffle, I'll be buying.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Another in tears reading your beautiful, heartfelt post. Your mum was obviously an amazing woman but you too were an amazing daughter.

    I wish I had something to donate but I'll def buy raffle tickets and tweet about this now.

    Lots of love to you - it must have taken courage to post this.

    Nic xxx

    ReplyDelete
  24. You had a beautiful mother, body and soul, and she had a beautiful daughter, body and soul.
    I'm sure she would have been very proud of you for organizing this.
    I am sobbing over this post..

    ReplyDelete
  25. Beautiful post Nicoletta. This also had me in tears, I lost my dad to cancer two years ago so I will do whatever I can to help.

    Karen xx

    ReplyDelete
  26. So sad :(, what a wonderful mum, huge hugs xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  27. Such a beautiful post Nicoletta, i was in tears reading it. We lost my nan to breast cancer and its such a terrible sight to see someone you love so much drifting away. I will definitely buy some tickets. Your mum would be so proud of you. Fair play *Hugs* xx

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thankyou ladies for all your lovely heart felt comments and personal messages. I am truly touched by the amount of people who are supporting me with this.
    Companies both big and small are contributing with some amazing prizes and i can't wait to start raising some funds.
    I know i am 1 of many who have lost someone close to cancer and i know that when we all pull together we can make a difference.
    THANKYOU xxx

    ReplyDelete
  29. Bless you, love and hugs xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  30. my heart goes out to you my love - your mum would be so proud of what your trying to do xx

    ReplyDelete
  31. What a beautiful post and lovely tribute to your mum, you will be making her very proud xxx

    ReplyDelete
  32. My heart goes out to you, both for what you and your mother have been through and also for having the courage to write such a moving and personal post. My mother also suffered, but thankfully she survived.

    Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

    God bless
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  33. This is such a beautiful post, you've made me cry! I really want to take part in your raffle, its such a great idea! I'm sure your mum is looking down on you very proud.
    My uncle had cancer and fought it for 2 years before sadly dying. I know this doesn't come close to the pain of losing your mother but I know about losing someone close to cancer. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  34. Beautiful post, and the raffle is such an amazing idea. Big hugs xx

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm in bits reading this, I lost my mum last year to cancer, so it's still very much a raw wound for me!

    Hugs to you my sweet friend, we lost our mums but we gained Angels...Best of luck with the raffle,you're an absolute star! Should you need anything, send us an email. Lots of love!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Must have been so hard to write this, she sounds amazing! Brilliant idea, hope you raise lots of money! Let me know if I can help in anyway! x

    ReplyDelete
  37. This was such a touching post, it brought tears to my eyes. Your mom was an amazing and a very strong woman. It sounds like she was such a loving, nurturing mom that you were so fortunate and blessed to have. I have no doubts that she is looking down at you from the wonderful and peaceful place she is in right now and is proud of you for being the great woman/mother you are today. Cancer is a horrible thing...my grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and I am so thankful to God every single day that she only had to go through a 4 hour surgery to have her lump removed and a month of radiotherapy and she is ok today. Even though she was saved, I know what it feels like to have a loved one suffer. I was so happy to read your tweet about all the companies that have reached out to you to support the cause! My heart goes out to you and everyone who had lost a loved one to breast cancer! <3

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm so sorry Nicoletta, she sounds like an amazing woman. :( *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thankyou everyone so much for your replies, its amazing how we can all connect with this post in some way or another.
    I have been quite surprised by the Huge response but i think its because we dont really talk about these things very often, especially not so openly on the internet.
    I was in two minds if i should write a post because i didnt want to upset anyone but i feel that i had to write it from the heart so that people in some way would be moved which will hopefully result in a positive outcome and help this much needed charity.
    Thanks again for your support it means the world to me xxx

    ReplyDelete
  40. A beautiful piece for a beautiful lady. Thank you for sharing something so tough and personal. Hugs xxx

    ReplyDelete
  41. It must have been very difficult for you to write this hun, but thank you so much for sharing. Sending lots of love & hugs your way. Here's to raising lots of funds to help others!

    Love Aysh xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  42. Nicoletta, that was so beautiful. I know your Mum would be incredibly proud of you. What a lovely tribute to her x

    ReplyDelete
  43. This is so beautifully written, it brought a tear to my eye, such a lovely tribute to her :)
    cancer in all its forms is just horrible - its amazing that your trying to do something towards helping to find a cure!! x

    ReplyDelete
  44. I'm so sorry I didn't see this before. You're amazing and your Mum sounds amazing. Very emotional and the raffle sounds wonderful, huge hugs and kisses to you xx

    ReplyDelete
  45. What a beautifully sad and touching post! Your mum sounded like an amazing person! I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago myself, just after my 30th birthday. I had a clear mammogram last week which really made my happy as I have 2 young kids and I don't plan on leaving them for a LONG time! Best of luck with your fundraising! XX

    ReplyDelete
  46. This must have been so hard for you to write so well done for doing it, I'm in tears here reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  47. This was a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes, but I also laughed out loud at your mom throwing her prosthesis at you. She sounds like a very strong woman. It's so heartbreaking how cancer affects so many families, including mine! Good luck raising money. Amazing of you to have the strength to share your story. xx

    ReplyDelete
  48. This is an incredible story and what was truly inspirational is the fact you had the strength and courage to write this, however hard it must have been, to raise awareness of Breast Cancer. Your mom sounds like an amazing woman, as do you. I wish you and your children the best in life, and I'm behind you 100% xx

    ReplyDelete
  49. I cried reading this, she sounds like a wonderful person and so are you for sharing this and helping raise awareness. Good luck, I hope loads of money is raised. xx

    ReplyDelete
  50. Aww you ladies are so kind thankyou for such beautiful comments xxx

    ReplyDelete
  51. Beautiful post! I, along with many others I imagine, know exactly what you have gone through and how devastating the disease is. I lost my Auntie (who was like a second mother) 3 years ago at 36 years old, since then my family and I have raised around £19,000 in aid of cancer :) will definately be donating! xx

    ReplyDelete
  52. I've just donated hun, also put a post on my blog xxx

    ReplyDelete
  53. Jade thankyou so much for your donation and i am so sorry to hear of your loss xx

    Sadie thankyou for donating and writting a post is brilliant, that way we can spread the word :)xx

    Just to say i have recieved another prize for the raffle which i will be adding today :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  54. This post has touched me in so many ways. Thank you for doing this and good luck xxx

    ReplyDelete
  55. I cried a little reading this. Im sure she is looking down on you so proud of you for the awareness youve been raising! xx

    ReplyDelete

Thankyou for all your comments, i appreciate each and everyone xx