As most of you will already know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
The shops are full of pink and people everywhere are doing their bit by organising coffee mornings, walkathons etc etc.
Breast Cancer is something that has touched me personally and had a huge impact on my life.
Let me tell you about my mum:
As i write this i really don't know where to begin. Her name Elissa Lockhart, she was such an amazing person that words just don't cut it.
She brought me up practically single handed. We had very little money but she worked hard to provide for me and always made sure she was there to pick me from school, juggling things like mad but always with a smile on her face.
She was such a positive person who gave me so so much and was my best friend. When i fell pregnant with my first son (her first grandchild) she was so supportive. I have been through some very difficult times and she never judged me but was always there.
There for cuddles, there for laughs, there for tears happy and sad.
Unfortunately many years later mum found a lump. As always she stayed optimistic and waited patiently for the results. I remember sobbing with her when we found out it was breast cancer and she needed to be operated on.
Then they told her she needed a mastectomy and would need chemotherapy as she was going to lose her hair.
Although she cried she told me she was going nowhere and would fight this disease.
And my god she did fight. She went through all the treatment and although there were days when she couldn't even get out of bed she still smiled.
She would even joke about and change her wigs to match her outfits, she would throw her prosthesis (Fake boob) at me when i wasn't expecting it. She was Amazing a real inspiration.
We were all so relieved when she had the all clear and after that she always said make the most of life its too precious to take for granted. She was an amazing grandma and we were closer than ever. There was not a day that went by where i didn't speak to her on the phone and we would go shopping together or she would come up and id do her nails. We'd gossip and eat cake and talk about girly things.
Years passed by and mum became unwell again. We tried not to think of the worst but when the results came back that the cancer had come back and spread to her liver and lungs we were all devastated.
I watched her deteriorate slowly, she had spells of being ok and times where she was sick for months on end. She struggled for a few more years in and out of hospital living on drugs and slowly getting weaker.
I spent the last few weeks of her life holding her hand at the hospice talking to her while she slipped further away.
I was with her when she passed away holding her hand and telling her how much i loved her and was going to miss her. I kissed her 3 times once from me and once on behalf of her two grandchildren (her pride and joy)
As i sat at her bedside i remember thinking she held me when i took my first breath and i held her when she took her last.
As i write this the tears are pouring down my cheeks, i miss her so much that as i said before words just don't cut it.
This month i plan on holding a raffle on my blog to raise money for breast cancer. I will be asking companies to donate prizes and asking you to donate directly to breast cancer campaign via a just giving account to be entered into the draw and win some goodies and all the money will go to charity.
It's not much in the big scale of things but every penny helps, i don't want any other mum's daughters, sister's or friends to go through this.
If you are a company and want to donate a prize please contact me and if you read this and it touches you then please post on twitter as the more i spread the word the more money i can raise and thank you for your support xxx